A ___ A Day 3/27/09

Congrats to Em in Tampa on the reply of the week!


Fill in the blanks: "A _____ a day keeps the ______ away."


A martini a day keeps the therapist away.

A beer a day keeps the blues away.

An apple a day keeps Dan away.

A 14 hour day keeps the workaholic coworkers away.

Unexpected Guest 3/20/09

Apparently quite a few of my friends and colleagues don't wear clothes around the house... Good times! Congrats to Todd C. on this week's winning reply.


Suppose some unexpected guests appear at your front door. Complete the sentence: "If I knew you were coming, I would have..."


Moved, joined the witness protection program, faked my own death... Anything but here!

Sobered up!

Put some clothes on.

Waited to do my impersonation of Tom Cruise singing old time rock and roll in Risky Business.

Worn my drinking shoes.

Not been so damn mad! Next time u need to freakin' call before you show up at my door. I don't like surprises! What the hell do you want anyway?

Left.

Left town yesterday!

Put down some newspaper.

Clipped my yellow toe nails.

Put on the dog.

Put some underwear on.

Put some clothes on.

Put some clothes on haha.

Charged a cover. Lol, I'm no good at this.

Cleaned up dog poo.

Brought out the dead. (from Monty Python)

Put on pants.

Britney 3/31/09

Hi All. There were some great replies to the first of the new Friday texts. I even received a response in the form of a poem! A few replies were a little too racy to post here -- Given this week’s topic, I’m sure can imagine. Please keep the good stuff coming. Have a great week, and congrats to Brian in D.C. on the reply of the week.


Why did Britney cross the road?


To get her kids out of the road.

To try and find her panties.

Because one of her backup singers is on the other side wearing a tux.

Because she wanted to join Jessica Simpson at KFC.

She was trying to save her career by re-promoting her movie Crossroads.

Because she forgot her kids on the other side.

To get the can of Pabst on the other side.

To see if that is where she left her career.

Why, oh why did she cross the road?
She’s such a nut job, we’ll never know.
But we ponder – like we do care.
So her life seems OK when it’s truly unfair.

U got me on that one. Why did she cross?

To pay Keven Federline his alimony.

To hit her baby one more time.

To get a better view of KFed working at Burger King.

Why?

To bypass her own train wreck.

To get her kids that she forgot hadn’t crossed with her.

To get some Chee-tos from the Kwickie Mart across the street from the trailer park.